Hearing impaired
untitled
Realize that a lot of the comma's are off because there HAVE to be pauses there, or at least in my mind there do because it's for effect. Apologies to all grammar nazi's.
Mapped out cracks on an old wall
in a dead city.
Empty of emotion, plot, foresight;
much like the people who caused them.
I didn’t like,
staring down those cracks,
interrogating their story.
Walls can’t cry, but they can curse.
It’s always been hard,
hard to listen to a sad tale
when your mind keeps trailing on the painted
shapes and words,
I’m always tempted to call Dave for a good time.
Mapped out cracks on an old wall
in a dead city.
A dead city alive with parasites,
no names and delinquents.
But- it’s always been hard-
hard to listen to a sad tale.
People cry.
and people can curse.
People can hit, yell, blame and steal.
A sad story is its own climax-
sometimes lacking plot or foresight-
much like the parasites
helping to inhabit the earth.
I’d tell you a sad story,
but it’d be the same as listening to the wall.
Distracted by the different ways
that others have defaced it.
- <<
- <
- >
- >>
I love the concept and the metaphor behind the piece, but i feel as though it was executed slightly awkwardly... maybe a few too many pauses, and a few words seem off...
however i like the idea of being defined by both your stories and your scars...+1
Aww. Thnanks. Yeah, I dunno. I feel like this piece ha to be read aloud but I can't exactly do that and apparently I'm not that great at reading aloud so I won't even try. I was just hoping that maybe someone would be able to read it in their head and get the same effect I was hoping to portray.