Sound it Out, Baby
Tue, 1 May 2007 at 06:39pm
untitled
Needless to say, I’m lonely.
Remove the last ‘s’
and you get ‘needles’…
That doesn’t tell you anything.
Needless to say, there’s nobody.
No bodies, no touch;
less love.
Less is inside ‘needless’…
That doesn’t tell you anything.
Needless to say, I’ve lost the sun.
no more shine, no warmth.
Sun doesn’t fit into ‘needless’…
That doesn’t tell you anything.
No one can tell you anything,
That would involve words,
and needless to say, we’ve lost them.
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I think this piece is really good
I like the irony in it and I particularly like the second to last stanza, the line on its own sort of highlights the point of the poem
and I have thammoc'd upon another one of your pieces, Alise!
I'd have to agree with rad on how finished this poem is. Rather, it ended well. How you took 'tell you anything' theme and turn it to describel something lost -- I liked that bit.
the last part, "No one can tell you anything, / That would involve words, / and needless to say, we’ve lost them." that stuck with me.
Definitely great!
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