What are you doing? Not crumbling the foundations of civilization so something worthless I'm sure.
Ya know, I'm tired of all your anarchy talk. If you must know I'm talking to a female friend online.
A female friend? A loser like you talks to girls? How'd you meet her?
Dude, don't be a twat or I won't talk to you. And I haven't actually met her. We know each other through an online forum.
So how is she a friend if you have never met her? And how do you even know she's a girl? Could be a dude just messing with you.
She's a friend because I have talked to her a lot. And I know she is a girl, and a cute one at that, because I've seen pictures of her.
Okay I will bite on the fact that she is a girl. But I still don't get how you can consider her your friend.
We share common interests, I enjoy talking to her and I feel like I can trust her.
God you are such a gullible sheep. You really have that much faith in humanity?
I'd like to think we are not all dirty rotten wastes of carbon. As I say, "I dislike humans, I like individuals."
You should know better than that. Everyone has their own objective or motive. They always want something out of you. What do you know about this girl?
Well I know that she is Canadian. Lives on the opposite side of the continent.
Canadian? You're friends with a flannel wearing, crappy beer drinking, hockey loving, pot smoking liberal? Now I really know you've lost all sense of rationality.
Hey I really like Canadians. They are a much nicer group of people and have much more common sense about things. I think I might live there later.
You must really have no respect for yourself, but we already knew that. Alright so what other dirt do you have on this girl. We are going to need it when she tries to backstab you.
Do you really have to be such an ass about everything. She is a really nice person and i really like her. So if you want to talk to me you are gonna have to be civil or i will just ignore like i do most of the rest of the things that annoy me.
Okay I'm sorry. Keep talking to me. Your subconscious is no fun. Makes no sense, is entirely too self absorbed and keeps trying to sleep with your mother. So give me the skinny.
Well she is 17, a senior in highschool, and-
WHOA, you are talking to jailbait? Dude you are such a dog. Want to know how sweet the forbidden fruits taste eh?
It's not like that... She's just a friend nothing more.
Now I know from the tone of your voice that you are hiding something. It's my mind too you know, I will find out no matter how much you try to hide from me.
God I'm never gonna hear the end of this and I can't believe I'm telling you this... We technically are 'engaged' We pretend to be meant for each other and say that one day fate will bring us together.
Oh My fucking God. you are the lamest person I have ever met.
You've never met anyone else, you are the voice in my head remember?
Okay but still, you are going after foreign jailbait and have these crazy delusions of actually meeting her, and then actually like you enough to get married to you... That is not only sad but kinda disturbing.
Its not serious like that. Just a little joke we have. I'm not really trying to hook up with her.
But the real question is would you like to?
Well I wouldn't be adverse to the idea. I mean she is really attractive and amazingly awesome. But it's not like I am trying to do that. Besides she has a boyfriend.
Yeah, now she does. But if I know your inclination towards stupidity and your insipid curiosity, which I do, then you probably would like to meet her.
And why the fuck not? You only live once and sometimes the craziest ideas are the best ones. Besides she likes tall guys.
How tall is she?
About 5 feet.
And you're gonna marry this girl? Besides how would intimacy work at all... It would be like masturbating with someone to talk to. This is weird man, even coming from you.
I've told you before it's not like that. Besides we are only engaged, that doesn't mean anything final. And it's not like marriage means much of anything these days anymore anyways. And you know what is really rich? Captain Anarchy, the Prince of crazhimself, is telling me that I am the crazy one!! Mr. Conspiracy Theory thinks I'm weird.
You are the one yelling at the voice in your head and you are calling me crazy??
I'm tired of your shit man:
Roses are Red and I'm getting Pissed
I really like her, and you don't exist
Oh you wanna play the lame game? lets dance Old Yeller, I'll take you behind the barn and make you my bitch:
Roses are Red and you are a disgrace
I can't wait till she laughs in your face
Look man I don't wanna play stupid games with you... This is my body and you are just gonna have to come along for the ride... I'm already planning to meet with her sometime and I'm not gonna be a creep about it, I just think we would have a great time together... And what's the point of life if you never take any risks?? You are always telling me how much i should do things that I am uncomfortable with... Well this is something that is completely different and interesting and who knows where it will lead... and thats half the fun! you aren't gonna convince me otherwise...
You really wanna give this a shot don't you?
Why not? What's the worst that could happen?
Well at least shes cute, I'd be super pissed if you were gonna travel across the globe for a butterface.
I hate you, you know that?
Yeah but you're stuck with me
We're stuck with each other. Now lets go to Kmart and pretend to hear voices to freak people out.
Now you're talking my language. Maybe I was wrong about you, maybe you didn't need to be completely radical... You definitely needed to grow some balls though.
Dude I got balls in spades. I got so much balls that they should be multicolored and have kids playing at them at fast food restaurants.
You're just as twisted as I am, I love it. Now shut up and lets go freak out some squares.
I spent a good hour a few years back asking my friend what she REALLY knew without being told by teachers, TV and things she couldn't prove!
She really resented me because I freaked the hell out of her. :) I like this
Not freaking the hell out of my friend, I mean I like this piece.