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social_r3jekt

Middle school

760
Wed, 14 Oct 2009 at 08:09pm

untitled

Plastic Cold. This is not a friend. Blue Unblinking eyes. This is not a friend. Tiny pink lips formed perfectly. This is not a friend. Hard Plastic Fingers that don't move, With toes to match. Again this is not a friend. Out of anger I grab her, Stare at her phony smile, frustration bubbles with in me. I pull my arm back, And as if my life was all her fault, whip it at my hard reflection and watch it shatter. As I pick up my unharmed "friend" I scream. Throwing it on the floor and stomping ontop of it Digging my heal into her face, watching that phony smile stick. It's not her fault that she was purchased by a traitor, but I don't care. Enraged Slamming it up against the wall, Chipping away the much unwanted blue paint. Oh How I hate blue, How I hate these walls, The broken mirror, And That desk oh that desk I LOATHE it. Always such a mess. Hiding missing home work slips, Bad report cards, Notes from what I thought was a friend. With one swift move of my hand it flies off, fluttering slow to the floor. She caused this! She did it! Why does she have to ruin everything! Shes not my friend... any more.
One other likes this.
2007-06-30
The commendations this piece recieved in IF1 were: 0 minus votes, 1 plus votes, and 0 astars.
inthecafeteria
2007-07-02

I think I'm starting to get a little more into your poetry, probably mostly because you really do seem to write from experience, and it makes for an interesting read knowing that this is more of a connection to you on a personal level than most other writings in this community.

That out of the way, I like this, though I find myself wishing it could go a little further into the story. I understand that whoever bought you [or the narrator] this doll [I'm assuming it's a doll or something] had recently done something to piss you [or, again, the narrator] off real bad, to the point of ruthless rage. Now I kinda wish it could elaborate just a little more, but that's just more of a personal opinion than a critical analysis. You've just got me curious, is all. You actually wrote this very well; I really love pieces in which the narration takes on the narrator's emotional tone, like it's their thoughts at that moment.

To get right to the point, plus one