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 ^{(it's beta!)}

im not suppose to heal from this am i? the sore sting placed, stamping down on my heart is begining to scar up pretty well just after a few hours. you call and all im picture is hearing your voice, and the lies you will speak. how do i know your lips didn't fansy anothers, and how do i know your lips didn't lean to anothers. "trust, trust trust" my heart is sailing a ship that im no longer captain of. copy and paste his face into our memories, place his body where mine once laid, somewhere in between your bedsheets and pillow cases. you told me to sleep on your favorite pillow while i was there, so when i left you could smell my shampoo and image my messy hair waking up to you, unindenting myself from your pillow, leaning over to hug you as your hand ties with mine. you laid in between my legs while we watched movies on your couch, looked up at me with eyes of a liar, and said "i do believe youre meant for me." im scared to go to sleep because im scared to wake up to the thought you hearing your voice on the other end of that long distance phone line, traveling thousands of miles per. hour, as it reaches my ear. i die. my heart burns when you ask for me back, my mind shovels when you say "i love you" because all im left with is an uneven reply. unbalance this heart you once walked upon, and bury this heart you kept in your puddle of excuses for so long, unfind your true feelings and just admit. you only needed me when you felt ever so lonely. ill sit here never wasting another year on another girl, never being able to give my heart away without a shield over it, all because of you. i hope youre happy that my life is now surrounded in lonely mornings and no "goodnight lovebugs". you lied, you didn't love me more than juliet loved romeo, and you lied, you didn't love me more than allie loved noah. you broke me down to a part of me that i haven't known in years, that i thought i had left behind. you planted a flower in my chest, and as i heard your voice everyday, it bloomed. i never had a moment where i wasn't sure if i was making you smile, because you have a voice that smiles out loud. songs on repeat, and words scrambled like eggs, my phone on silent but the glow of your caller ID glowing in my eyes. i cant make out the name with these glass teared eyes, but i know its you. i hope. give my heart CPR, bring me back to life, be my savior, be the one i trust again. i never had one lonely day when i was with you...for some reason i feel as if this isn't yet finished. something is missing. like you.