Watch,
as the sailor sails his brown paper ship.
The dreams of men lie
in sailboats,
in the slender, wet paper.
like oakleaves,
with cresses,
in the salad of my gutter.
I also really like this one. The way you express the imagery is decidedly different than the other poems, and it stands out in a way that I can appreciate. Also, I guess it's slightly little closer to how I would write a poem.
i've no votes left, i'm sorry t o say... because i really love this piece. it's so simple and beautiful, intimate, too. i'm not sure what the salad of your gutter is, but thank you. i especially loved: the dreams of men lie in sailboats. & like oakleaves with cresses.
I get interesting imagery, but I don't get the overall meaning of the piece. As a result, the images are kind of like a sea-green-colored mushroom trip on a rainy day.
I didn't get a clear grasp of the poem's intention, but I did enjoy reading it. +1, again.
I also really like this one. The way you express the imagery is decidedly different than the other poems, and it stands out in a way that I can appreciate. Also, I guess it's slightly little closer to how I would write a poem.
plus one
i've no votes left, i'm sorry t o say... because i really love this piece. it's so simple and beautiful, intimate, too. i'm not sure what the salad of your gutter is, but thank you. i especially loved: the dreams of men lie in sailboats. & like oakleaves with cresses.
I get interesting imagery, but I don't get the overall meaning of the piece. As a result, the images are kind of like a sea-green-colored mushroom trip on a rainy day.
I didn't get a clear grasp of the poem's intention, but I did enjoy reading it. +1, again.
I agree a bit with the people above, this is eye/mind candy but not very substantial. I'm also not a fan of the use of 'salad'.
Thammoc Chosen Comment