i n F l e u  (it's beta!)

LOG  IN  OR  SIGN  UP



kluny

Spitfire and Hurricane

559
Thu, 19 Apr 2007 at 07:31pm

untitled

We are Spitfire and Hurricane North and South of the river Divided, but not for long We will Always go together If I take the rhythm You play melody You take off on a riptide Stay in sight of me Can you feel The bass beat Does it shake your bones? Can you see The sun heat Pulse up and punch you in the nose? Bring the waves together You play melody If I take the rhythm Can you stay in sight of me We are Hydroxide and hydrochloric Opposite but in line Both sides of the same coin We will Always find the time
Three others like this.
2007-04-19
The commendations this piece recieved in IF1 were: 0 minus votes, 3 plus votes, and 0 astars.
rockyrox
2007-04-19
the music theme was neat. can you see the sun heat that was a good part i felt the beat really good.
aetherlightning
2007-04-20

I agree with rocky here that the beat in this (i read it out loud, just because that's what I do) is good... But I also loved the chemistry reference (being a CHEG major) and that's the reason for the +1... Good piece...

cyanide
2007-04-21
I like this a lot! It does have a fun beat in it. Constructive: Should it be "stay in sight of me" in the last line of the second stanza?
kluny
2007-04-21
Yes, but it shouldn't have been "stay in sight 'if' me" in the second stanza. Thanks
radtastic
2007-04-21

Hm. I like it. I'm horrible at giving critiques of poetry, though. So I can't place a finger on why. But...I DO like it, and that's good, right? Haha. :D

(though I HATED CHEMISTRY so that was a bit of a downer, for me. Haha)

emilyexstacy
2007-04-23
Hmmm. I couldn't find any sex... A great poem non the less. :]
burning_sands
2007-08-31
If I take the rhythm You play melody You take off on a riptide Stay in sight of me that stanza's in it and you can't find any sex?? agree with the rhythm comments above...