Placid Destiny
untitled
when reading this, please take note that i have kept it in its elemetry form,even it's origional title, only changing spellings. i wrote this 4 years ago, when i was 10.the only comments my teacher made on it was 'if you were asked to write in the first person in a test and you wrote in the third person, you wouldnt get any marks' bitch.
They entered the forest, the only place they could run with the possibility of hiding if seen. It was late morning, evolving into mid-day. They walked deep into the woods with the blinding sun splintering through open branches of trees and the tranquillity opened their minds to the world around them. Nothing could upset them as much as the disaster that was about to take place. They were coming. Satan’s army themselves. The blood tribe. They saw the dark purple flags rising high above the tallest trees they heard the deathening horn and they knew they had been found out, spied upon, been put in great danger. The world seemed to stop dead, but there feet would not stop with it, as stubborn as the lightings anger, as the sun shines and god’s will to save them. Their destiny was close and their escape was fluke. Nothing could stop them now. They were at the place the enemy could not penetrate. It wasn’t much but what it was, was safe, and that was all that mattered to them they were to live and survive. Although they did not notice until that night, they were at the place they would be safe for now and evermore. They had proved themselves worthy beyond doubt, and their fame will last for many years to come. Jaqui and Willow. The champions. The survivors
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It must be genetic! :P I'm referring to the fantasy evil battle stuff. But you've approached it in a different way, so it's not very similar rly.
You're right though, that's pretty damn good for a 10 year old. Your use of the word evolving, and the imagery in general certainly isn't worthy of scorn.
It's probably the context of a 10 year old, but I'm going to give this a +1, purely because I liked it, and was impressed.
yer, we are cool, must be a genetic thing, being cool, and writing fantasy, sept im better, cus im older, and oi faggot ur my little sis, check out my work some time yer?