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 ^{(it's beta!)}

Love is a hard feeling to understand. Much like the penguin feels when he slides down the ice on its stomach. This is like the feeling of the 'fat man', when his stomach begins to rumble, he will catch one of these penguins and eat him whole. Brutal. I know.

The 'fat man' is common sight in places such as America and is even considered a pest, but rarely seen in countries such as Africa. It hates the lack of penguins and televisions. America isn't where the penguin originates from, and is rarely seen in the wild, so why is the fat man so common there?

The answer is that hundreds of years ago, all the racists in the Antarctic didn't like the fact that penguins were black and white. This confused them, so they threw the penguins out and then the penguins only had America to go to, because it was uninhabited. They only missed the much loved belly-slide slopes, but they accepted this and lived contently.

The downfall of the wild penguin population happened about 10 years later, when the Brits discovered America, and evolved almost instantly into the 'fat man', feasting on the penguins that up until then had thrived to live.

Are you still not sure what these strange creatures we nick-named the 'fat man' is?

Well, it is more commonly known as 'your average American.'

But how are the 'fat man' still alive? Surely they would have killed and eaten all the penguins by now, resulting in their own downfall and extinction…..

There are two other main groups of the American. Neither of them fit the specifications of a fat man, their are the 'plastics' who fit the design of a Barbie, but are very intellectually challenged, but they make their living via their beauty. The other group is the opposite of the 'plastics' we've nicknamed them the 'geeks.' These 'geeks' don't tend to have as much body weight as the 'fat man' and they area lot more intellectually advanced. At first the 'geeks' would only use their intellectual powers for their own amusement, this resulted in the Star Wars films and scotch tape. They were outsiders, rejected and cast aside by the 'fat man' and the 'plastics.'

Soon though, the 'geeks' grasped hold of their priorities and power, and worked undercover, creating the magical thing that keeps the 'average American' alive, Mc Donald's. The 'geeks' created the perfect penguin, using selective breeding and killed penguins and used their rump to make burgers. This is the bit of the penguin that makes the 'fat man' fat. But soon they ran out of penguins as they all fled for Boulders Beach, Cape Town, the ONLY place in Africa penguins are found. So now the penguin's taste is artificially produced, using chemicals. Fortunately, for the 'geeks' and the sanity of the 'fat man' this information has been kept undercover. The 'fat man' continue to eat at Mc Donald's daily, and seeing as the 'plastics' have no reason to eat, as they reproduce quickly, and don't have much need for nutrients, they make do with celery.

By Rosy.