The Story of Pumpkinroot, the Unusual Pixie.
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Ok, so today I found a disk of files from one of our old computers, and naturally, the name "the story of pumpkinroot (the unsual pixie) caught my attention.
Upon further inspection I realised it was a story/play that me and one of my siblings wrote about 58490 (5) years ago. It is pretty amusing, although a little hard to follow, so I thought I might as well put it up here. Enjoy...
Once upon a time, in a land not far away
-hey why is the land not far away!
ok, fine, once upon a time, in a land that was far away
-no, the land should be close but also not close at the same time, it gives the story a sense of meaning
honestly. fine, once upon a time in a land that was far away but also not far away at the same time (happy?) there lived a young girl, her parents didnt know this, but she was actually
-A REALLY EVIL DOCTOR WHO WANTS TO TAKE OVER THE WORLD!!
actually i was going to say she was running out of ribbons
-yeah but thats boring, who would want to read a story about that?
i would
-yes well you are a boring person so it doesnt count.
ok well ANYWAY one day she was out walking to market to buy some ribbons
-walking to market to buy ribbons? you have GOT to be kidding me.
whats wrong with ribbons?
-they are boring, she should be going to buy weapons of mass destruction or something
well she wasnt. back to the story. where was i?
-you were talking some crap about ribbons.
oh yes, well on her way to market to buy ribbons she came across
-A BLOODSUCKING VAMPIRE THAT WANTED TO KIDNAP HER AND USE HER IN HIS EVIL PLANS
no, she came across a small pixie
-AND THE SMALL PIXIE WAS A BLOODSUCKING VAMPIRE THAT WANTED TO KIDNAP HER AND USE HER IN HIS EVIL PLANS
this is my story and i say it is a pixie, not a bloodsucking vampire that wanted to kidnap her and use her in its evil plans.
-spoilsport.
and she noticed that the pixie was looking a bit sick
-so the pixie coughed on her and she turned green and died.
no, she took the pixie home to nurse it back to health
-and to burn it with matches
she was not going to burn the poor little defenceless pixie with matches!
- ok fine, first she gave the pixie a gun so it wasnt defenceless and then she burnt it with matches, is that better?
nobody is going to burn anybody with matches.
-well no one is going to keep reading the story now you said that.
yes they will, not everyone is horrible like you, you know.
-me? horrible?! how dare you suggest such a thing. my feelings are severely hurt.
HORRIBLE HORRIBLE HORRIBLE
-OH! you take that back!
make me.
-oh i will make you alright...you...you....boring ribbon freak!!
i laugh at your feeble attempts to verbally abuse me, anyway back to the story, the young girl took the pixie home to nurse it (and not burn it with matches)
-fine.
soon the pixie was better again and it used its magic to
-TAKE OVER THE WORLD!!
to shrink the little girl down and make her fly.
-fly? oh god this story is truly unbearable.
then stop reading it, go and write your own story
hello?
good you left
so the pixie shrunk down the little girl and they went to fly through the fields together, having all sorts of small and interesting adventures, one day they even met a bumble bee.
-a bumble bee? this story is getting even more pathetic
hey i thought you left
-i did leave, and look what happened..you began to write about bumblebees
i like bumble bees.
-suit yourself, i however believe bumblebees to be merely furry stripey insects.
be quiet i need to finish my story
- good, you need to get it over with you mean. its bloody painful.
the bumblebee said "hello"
-hang on..this is just stupid. bees cant talk, and also before you wrote "one day they met a bumblebee" you can't meet things that can't talk or communicate in some way
well the bee was magic then
-oh a magic bee! how adorable!
thankyou
-i was being sarcastic..ha! get it! "bee"ing sarcastic
yes, you are totally hilarious
-thankyou
i was "bee"ing sarcastic
-oh now you are just being cruel
she named the pixie pumpkinroot
-no comment.
if you say "no comment" it's a comment
-fine, what i mean is no comment other than "no comment"
ok. the girl was called lilywater
-lilywater, please tell me you are joking
ok i'll change it then, her name was actually angelbuttonrose
-let me name her
no you will call her "bloodvein" or something stupid and gross like that
-hey bloodvein, i like it.
fine i'll call her bloodvein
-good.
ok so bloodvein and pumpkinroot had just met the bumblebee
-and it didnt say hello because bees cant talk
i told you it was a magic bee!
-i'm sick of this story.
its nearly finished
-liar,i think i will finish the story for you
ok fine, but finish it nicely
-what bloodvein and pumpkinroot didnt know was that the bee was actually a suicide bomber and it blew up and they all died. the end
that wasnt very nice
- ok fine they didnt die, they were just horribly crippled and they lived in pain for the rest of their days
thats still not nice at all
-ok they were horribly crippled and lived in pain for the rest of their days but they got free ponies.
ok, thats acceptable, everyone loves ponies.
-ok, so its the end now?
yes alright.
-good. im hungry
you have to say "the end"
-oh, ok. The End.
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