Not Me
Meeting Her
Some miracles you don't even know happened until you never have to think about it.
It was another warm day in September, and all the trees were going to be exceptionally late in losing their leaves this year on my street. I can tell. In every city I've ever lived in I watched the trees and sort of tracked their actions and movements. It's also safe to point out that I didn't have many friends growing up. Any how, the trees on my street were always really late to fall, except for the biggest tree on the whole block. It lost leaves all through autumn, and it was in my yard of all places. I didn't like raking leaves back then. They always annoyed me. Falling. Dying. Cracking. Breaking. Green. Yellow. Brown. They were gross. They fall off the tree and shrivel up and die. Then they would be these gross brown crunchy things you would have to poke with a rake. The noise used to make me want to cry. That was before I met her.
When I first saw her, she was wearing a faded Flogging Molly shirt, and a wrist band that said “so what.” Her hair was red, as were her cheeks with excitement. She loved to play in leaves. She loved the way they crunched under her bare feet. She loved everything about it. I couldn't quite understand it, and wouldn't be able to make sense of it now, but when I saw her in these leaves in my yard playing I didn't get mad. Not for being in my yard. Not for messing up the leaves I had just raked. Not even for being weird. In fact, it made me smile. I wondered how one person could have so much fun with a pile of leaves. I wanted to to go out there. I wanted to talk to her. I wanted to ask her questions. I wanted see what it was about her that is so up lifting. I wanted to, but I couldn't. I would look stupid. I didn't want that. I went into the kitchen to get a drink, and when I looked out the window again she was gone. Figures.
A day went by, and I didn't stop thinking about her. Not in a sexual, or romantic way. Or a creepy stalker way. She fascinated me, though I still had yet to meet her. I had so many questions about her. What was her name? Where did she come from? Did she talk with an accent? Does she have a little sister that looks just like her? What is her favorite color? Does she listen to Green Day? I sure hoped she didn't. Still, I wanted to know everything about her. Two days after that I went to school and asked every one I knew if they knew anything about her. “Do you know a girl, about, say five foot three... red hair... uh... I think she's got her ears pierced?” They all just looked at me like I was crazy. That could be anyone. I'm so bad at describing things.
No one could help me, and I couldn't help myself. I felt so distressed. As if I'd lost someone dear to me. But I didn't even know her. I wanted to go home, but I knew my dad was home, and he always busted my ass about cutting school. So I just walked out of the school during lunch and walked over to the abandoned house down the street. No water. No electricity. It was a good thing I only wanted to take a nap there. Maybe that wasn't a very smart idea, but I felt so drained. So tired. The life had literally been sucked from my body. The odds of me ever seeing her again were far more slim than I had ever hoped. I wished so much that she would come and play these leaves with me. That by some strange coincidence, she would walk by the abandoned house and see me, and come talk to me. Someone told her this was a great place to skip school for a while, and she decided she'd come check it out.
"I heard this was a great place to cut class."
"It's alright if you're dead."
"Haha. You're funny. My name's..."
"What the hell is her name?" I thought. "Does she have a name? Any identity at all? Do people know her? No one I know does. Oh, dear god, I'm making this all up. She's all in my head, and I don't even have a name for her? I've gone mad. Completely bonkers. How long have I been here?"
About an hour. It started to get windy. The branches on the tree were making noises. It made it hard to think. I kept thinking I was hearing footsteps coming my way. God damn tree. I couldn't think. I couldn't stop thinking. It was so quiet, I thought my ears would explode. That's when I heard it. The most angelic voice to ever grace my ears.
"Hello. Amanita is the name."
And the flowers cover everything.
- <<
- <
- >
- >>
