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Albion

719
Tue, 12 Jun 2007 at 05:36pm

To The Most High

NOTE; I am not sure about this piece FEEDBACK pleeease!?

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Dawn light bathes the altar in its warm golden glow.

A man sits on the organ stool to the left, his hands resting lightly on the worn ivory keys.

"I can feel you, you know" His voice is gravely and cracked with age,

"I can see your shadow on the sun"

He presses the organ keys down gently.

**************************************************************************************

In the wild and overgrown cemetary outside, millions of sparkling, silvery butterflys fill the air.

Their wings and bodies made of clear glass.

Catching and refracting the sunlight into a thousand glittering rainbows, their tiny forms flutter and swarm up and around the ancient church belltower.

**************************************************************************************

The gnarled hands dance slowly across the worn old patina of the keys

And his voice rises steadily with the Butterflys outside

Sound washes from the organ pipes in a calm blue wave

For a moment the organ and its pilot are rushing through a crystal sky

Over and under sapphire seas

Through the fluttering rainbow swarm of the butterflys

**************************************************************************************

An eye opens in the fires of the sun high above the bell tower

A giant pupil, bigger than worlds, shifts to focus on the tiny organ and it's occupant

Wind howls and the organ is silenced

"You have such a beautiful dream."

Four others like this.
2007-06-12
The commendations this piece recieved in IF1 were: 0 minus votes, 3 plus votes, and 0 astars.
cammy
2007-06-12
I love it. Especially the first and last parts. +1
cyanide
2007-06-12
I think the second part is my favorite. Beautiful imagry.
inthecafeteria
2007-06-14

I'm sorry for waiting so long to comment. I think it is a beautiful piece, and probably my favorite I've read recently. Amazing imagery, fantastic wordplay, [positive adjective] concept an piece overall. I can't decide which part I like the most, but I definitely like how you closed it.

Despite the medium and strange separation, it makes me think of something I would write, but I'm not sure how accurate that is...

plus one. I love it immensely.

2007-06-16
*Sigh* beautiful ^_^ well done you.
burning_sands
2007-08-24
i kinda held my breath while reading it and then just sighed and smiled. simply loverly.