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Behemoth (conceptual)

659
Tue, 22 May 2007 at 06:24pm

The Behemoth

I'm hiding here Swirled darkness around me Twirling High pitched noise spirals down Engulfs me The Narwhal is searching Soon he shall find me Hidden here as I am Amongst the seas of the moon Osiris sheds a tear for my plight To little to late I must move on My footfalls slow and heavy In the darkness of the moons sea Scarlet mist rises Clotting The blued eyes seek me Through silvered noise Long of Tusk Short of Temper The Behemoth seeks me Through the inky pall Angelic tones call me "Pay it no heed child" Mutters the Jakal to my right Heavy Robes fluttering akimbo in the light And so I shall turn And face the Narwhal For it is better to seek your own truth Than take the word Of the Jakal in priests robes...
Three others like this.
2007-05-22
The commendations this piece recieved in IF1 were: 0 minus votes, 3 plus votes, and 0 astars.
kathymonster
2007-05-22

I love that second to last stanza. Through backs to encyclopaedias I used to read as a child. Narwhales are fabulous animals.

I liked that. Very nice work.

inthecafeteria
2007-05-23

Very nice. Again, wonderful imagery. I really like that about your pieces. I feel bad that I can't say much more than that, but I will note that I dig how you subtely refer to the characters as though we already know them, like "the Jakal" as opposed to "a jakal". It's just a subtle thing, but I like it.

plus one

sold
2007-08-23

Coming from you, goldie - I'm sorry, but for some reason this brings bands like Black Sabbath and Wolfmother XD

Not quite sure why...

golden_orchids
2007-08-24

Its very much Mastodon and Gojira inspired lol

But I can see how someone without a background in that kinda music will make different connections :P