The SlamWorks
The Whirlwind
Hey everyone, first post here, looking forward to reading everyone's work and hearing feedback...
This poem is meant to be performed, so i have punctuated it based on how i say it. A comma is a short pause and an ellipsis is a long one...
The Whirlwind
There’s no negating, this hell re-creating, and all this debating, makes me start hating…
Hating myself for living, forgiving, for giving away my humanity…
For my insanity, will always be, so it’s safe for me, inside this shell…
I know it all too well, with a need to yell, until I can no more…
I drop to the floor, because I’m usually so sure, about what is pure…
Life loses allure, as we dig our grave, the body they save, but it’s the brain that will rust…
Filled with disgust, distrust, dissent’s been sussed, so we’ve all gone bust…
Let’s reinvent the wheel, it’s no big deal, the diseased keel over and the forest will heal…
But it’s too silent to be natural, too loud to be surreal, not finding the words to express the way I feel…
As non-existent bells peal, for the coming of the storm, we struggle to keep warm, and find sustenance in other’s lies…
So no surprise, when met with demise, there are no outcries…
And while suffering flies, with life as its guise, the whole world dies, before our eyes…
Missing it through blindness, self-interest in the facade of kindness, wanting to re-wind this and start from square one…
Been hurting too long and it’s only begun, there’s nowhere to run and this shit weighs a ton…
It’s no longer fun, to keep our minds going, our ignorance is showing and time just keeps
slowing… slowing… slowing…
All the while knowing... There's no chance of re-growing…
We're throwing it all away for pleasure today, make no delay and jump into the fray, this worthless play is about to begin…
So forget your sin, and shed your skin, time to join your kin, and surrender unto the whirlwind…
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Ah, very cool. There's not a whole lot of this sort of thing around her. Slam poetry, would you call it? I dunno. I'm not well-versed in that sorta writing.
But I do like it. Very clever, and you can almost feel the rythm here and there. I dig it.
plus one
Slam poetry is what it is called...
Yeah, this was written to be just a random free form piece, but as I went back and revised it, I shortened a lot of the phrases and turned it into a 'slam poem'
I honestly don't know where the lines between 'slam' and 'traditional' poetry are, because in my mind with a little bit of energy and emoting, any piece can be turned into a slam poetry piece... Although I am not sure it always works the other way...
You have amazing talent. It's a shame when life gets in the way of something like that. Keep writing! Keep up the great work!
+1
i really wanna act this one out! makes me want to take stage in front of thousands of people. i'm going to use my last vote for this one. whoot for you:D
I haven't read much of your slam poetry, so yay for Thammoc for bringing me here. Not really sure what to say, except that I really enjoyed the piece.
Thammoc Chosen Comment