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 ^{(it's beta!)}

I made a car that runs on sin You think bad thoughts, Put them in and go It works so well I can’t sell it It has to be idiot proof If you do a big sin, you might not stop If you kill someone, you might Leave the planet, not that we’d miss you So back to my lab to find a new fuel This one runs on pollution Gives off pure air, water, gold if you like The problem was so obvious I missed it If you turn waste into treasure, What does that make the treasure? Waste. Gold waste. The hell with it I’ve turned diamonds into garbage Hi, my name is Luke. I’m a genius Recovering, hopefully I’m on step 9, confessing Soon I’ll be just as dumb as the rest of you.

So spaceships aren’t the thing. It wouldn’t sell, there were too many problems; Life’s like that, even for genuine, certified genii. Luke went back to the basement again, He was thinking of Orient spices and the deep rich night Thinking of a girl with long hair like a river Of silk running across his chest A palace with golden domes And a host of servants listening out of sight He definitely wasn’t thinking of microchips and transistors. There was the new idea. Flying horses- that’s the thing Giant birds, there’s another Something moved in one of the darker corners of his mind The one he didn’t like to look at The corner where he kept his wasted youth, Spent drinking in bars and wandering home at 3 in the morning But he looked now, and found something he hadn’t even known was there. Sometimes being a genuine, certified genius isn’t enough Sometimes it takes a little something extra A vague memory from a kid’s story From Tolkien, Lewis and Rowling Sometimes it turns into a flying carpet Who needs spaceships then, eh?

It turns out that flying carpets violate Turkish airspace laws. Who knew? Now I am in a dark, damp, dirty cell. It’s also dull; Mostly dull. Someone has left a Gideon bible under the cot. The way it is wedged Between two stones Out of sight to anyone who isn’t bored and searching Makes me think it’s a good idea not to let the guards see it. Turkey is a Muslim country. The guards are Muslim guards. They don’t like Christians; therefore I shall now memorize Ecclesiastes Just to spite them. I’ve learned something, this past week Happiness has nothing to do with circumstances Happiness is having enough time on your hands to memorize Ecclesiastes. They treat me well here There is food A chamber pot And a bed What more can a man ask for? But last night the man in the next cell was taken away He came back this morning Without eyes God, how do I get out of this one?

Can’t catch me, boy, I’m a leprechaun I’m wherever you ain’t I’m slippery Can’t catch me, I’m like one o’ them, whadayacallem, Voyageurs By time you know I was there, I’m gone Down the river Can’t catch me, boy Cocky, ain’t he Those Turks didn’t know who they were dealing with The peacekeepers, that’s who Nice to have mates like you guys, eh But I had a plan way before you came in What, wet your pants and hope they throw you out in the dumpster? We’ll never know now, hey Tommi? Do you know what they locked you up for, kid? Jealous of my gorgeous red hair, no doubt And my brilliant intellect Haha, not far off They like your toys, mate Your flying carpet That cute buzzy screen you use to keep flies out They can kill people with those. Nah, not smart enough to figure ‘em out Call Jacks and sixes Royal flush <The soldier storms off> Let him be, Tommi It’s just adrenaline Little shit’s gonna talk himself into a mouthful of teeth Someday Let him What’s it to you?

Nineteen

My dad says

Boy, get your lazy self a job

And get outta my house.

Nineteen

I can vote now

What’s more, I can run for office

What’s more, I will

No honest work for me, son

I’m going to be the Mayor of Vancouver

You can call me Your Worship.

“Thank you, thanks…

I’m nothing special

Just a mechanic

I make things work

Voters of Canada, dream with me

I believe in machines that work

I believe in laws that work

I believe in government that works!

I make things work.

Vote Remy

I’m going to fix this city.”

<Applause>

…A surprising turn of events, Steve, This young upstart, barely old enough to vote, seems to be generating quite a bit of interest in the polls. We’ll just have to see if he can keep up this momentum until Election Day…

That’s a beautiful baby, ma’am, may I hold him?

Her, sorry

I’m a unique breed, ma’am

A new kind of politician

I really don’t think there’s ever been another like me

I tell the truth

Autograph? Why, sure!

Anyway,

I keep my word

If I can’t keep it, I don’t give it

Doesn’t matter if my promise turns out to be impossible

If I said I’d do it– it’ll happen.

The posters went out

The t-shirts were printed

The debate was debated

And I dominated

I own this city.

Election Day

…Well, that noisy Irish kid was a good show, but of course the election went predictably as always…Campbell is with us for another term…now how about that fire up in Langley?...

Shucks.

Now I might have to get an actual job.

Luke built a rocket ship that’ll take us to the stars No one wants a part of it They’re too caught up in life and war We did it for a country that hates us We did it for a race that doesn’t care We did it out of love for all the things that brought us here The asteroids are calling, the sands of Luna wait for us There’s a light that’s shining so we know It’s time to go We hope that you’ll think of us And someday follow But we don’t care for any of this Cause we’re leaving tonight