Bellatrix Petal
untitled
Blue-gray eyes the color of early dawn bite into yours, but you know in your heart of hearts she’s not going to give in to you no matter how much you cry. Dark hair cuts a jagged line around her face, a contrast almost as sharp as the red on her wrists. Crocodile smile, I see her lure them in again, she’s got all the boys caught up in a web she pretends not to see. Somebody stuffed her in a jar and attached a label, held behind the confines of how others define her, she cries, but only on the inside. Her pouted lips are stitched shut over a million secrets, a hushed whisper for each breath in her chest. Behind the perfect curve of her hips, I can see just how hollowed out she once was, until she filled up her insides with the little slips of paper that hold her every wish.
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pov is a bit confusing, though the imagery is decent. watch for cliches, such as crying on the inside. no matter how true they might be, trust yourself to be better than cliches.
I didn't even consider how cliche some of those lines are, thank you for pointing that out. That's definitely something I'll work on.
Whoops. It says I'm logged in but is also calling me "guest". Just to clarify, I AM the person who wrote this...