A Left? on 3rd and Orchard
Wed, 13 May 2009 at 08:05pm
untitled
The air, in the only word you can describe it, is chalky
It's dark and thick and you can swear
that you can see where the sun's light is strangled.
You walk, more likely you swim and push
through the smoke and guttural noise
of this patch of midnight in the day, to an empty table.
Coughing, you sit gingerly on the bench.
The booth you find is gnarled wood, less of a seat
and more of a forest restrained.
You sit, uncomfortable and squinting slightly
at the waitress who poured you what seemed like coffee
the duration of an hour ago, doing your best to look inquisitive.
The room is endless it seems, made up of wood and concrete
and a certain sense of stubborn refusal
to modernize or clean or smile politely while giving change.
The wall closest to you is heavily worn,
carved in with phrases and memories and names
like "A + J forever" or " '83 4 Life" or "that isn't coffee you're drinking"
Finally, giving up on that one flake of a friend who gave bad directions,
you leave, replacing the coaster under your cup with a bill
most likely four or eight too many.
The air outside feels clean, and you notice that your day has turned to dusk.
The door closes rudely behind you, defiant and
a little mean-spirited. Maybe you'll come back tomorrow night.
One other likes this.
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Love it. The mood of the piece fantastic. I especially love the line "that you can see where the sun's light is strangled."
thank you kindly, jacen. Believe me, I've written about this place often enough to have it down to a science.
I like the stanza
Coughing, you sit gingerly on the bench.
The booth you find is gnarled wood, less of a seat
and more of a forest restrained.
best. I think the first line needs to get rid of either 'in' or 'as' so that it reads better. I love the mood of this piece, very grunge and yet homey.
Bien bien, you would've had to be perched on the ceiling for any clue of other inhuman perception. But aviators see through the musty air softly.
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