Interloper
untitled
The morning we found out that Matt had killed himself, I saw his best friend, Eddie, in the lobby. Eddie was one of those guys who seemed to be perpetually smiling. Kind of goofy looking, always grinning and waving. He was a real big jock in high school. Football team, track team.
Most classes had been cancelled for the day, due to the sudden and horrible nature of Matt's death and because he was so popular with everyone. There were 2,000 kids in my school at that time, and I bet you every single one of them knew who he was before that day even happened. He was the kind of guy that everyone liked, even if you didn't know him well.
And everyone knew he and Eddie were best friends. They'd even been voted "Best Friends" in our senior superlatives. It made the yearbooks very bittersweet, to see the picture of them side by side.
I was crossing through my lobby on the way to the gym. They'd pulled out the bleachers so we could sit down; no one was going to make up run laps or play basketball that day. As I walked down the steps and across the floor, I saw Eddie, sobbing unashamedly in the arms of a friend.
I looked away. It was a private moment; even being close to them, I felt like I was intruding on something so, so personal. There was so much raw feeling, so much anger and desperation and heartbrokenness and absolute suffering in every sob that I heard come from him that it was painful to listen to.
I don't think I could forget that moment if I tried.
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