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 ^{(it's beta!)}

Sunday July 20, 2008:

My head exploded. I didn't think it actually would, but it did. And it went everywhere. I'd been saying the same thing for ages. That one of these days it was just going to give in and give out. Bam! There it went, and there it was. Now here it is; leaving me catatonic and vonurable. Stress induced? Quite possibly. One too many drinks last night, or perhaps a few too less. Bills that need to be paid, people that need to be forgiven, dishes that need to be done. I guess it was just far, far too much. Not messy, just monotonous. Everything is so monotonous.

Now, no more racking my brain about tedious things. Making friends, losing loved ones, trying to make sense of a non-sensical world. I have no brain to rack. Endless hours spent learning; gone. In an instant which took, it seems, a lifetime.

And if I could go back, I know damn well I wouldn't change a thing.

My head exploded today. And for once I wont be the one who has to clean it up. I'll let my so called "friends" pick the bits up off the floor. Pick the mess from their nails. I've made my sacrifices. I deserve some time away by now. Some time to not think about a thing.

Just replay the imgaes of my exploding skull, my exploding smile; my endless smile.