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1337
Mon, 7 Apr 2008 at 05:57am

untitled

Wake Up, Emily! It's five A.M... No, that's not the A/C. I think it's the rain. Wake Up, Emily! There's something awfully wrong. Are you going to throw up? What the hell is that pain? Get up, Emily! We must hurry to the car. Get your phone. Get your keys. Are you okay? Get up, Emily! There's something awfully wrong. Don't you worry. I'm sure they'll have good things to say. Keep your head up, Emily! We're almost there. I can see the red sign up a head. Keep your head up, Emily! I'm sure you'll do fine. Just be glad at this moment you're not quite dead. Keep walking, Emily! You're almost to your room. They'll find out what's wrong with you. It wont be so bad. Keep walking, Emily! Waiting is the hardest part. Did they really get your birthday wrong on your name tag? Lay down, Emily! Stop picking at your IV! This gown in unflattering, but you're still pretty. Lay down, Emily! The nurse will be in soon. Pee in the cup. Lay back down. You don't have to feel so shitty. Stop worrying, Emily! You're going to be alright. But why do they keep leaving the room? Stop worrying, Emily. It's all in your head. You'll be out of here really soon. Stop crying, Emily. No one saw this coming. Tell your mom. Tell your dad. But right now, none other. Stop crying, Emily! I promise you, it will turn out fine. I know you're not ready to be another unwed-mother. Take a deep breath, Emily. Mom's discharging you now. You're a grown up now. With a lot of growing up to do. Take a deep breath, Emily. Open up your eyes. Don't lose a second of sleep, everyone is here for you.
Four others like this.
2008-04-07
The commendations this piece recieved in IF1 were: 0 minus votes, 4 plus votes, and 0 astars.
themilkman
2008-04-07
This flowed perfectly. I really loved this. +1
galanteeshowman
2008-04-07

Agreed, great flow; I can really see time pass with each sentence. Though I had a feeling that it only works because we know a little more of the background, it seems... I can't tell.

macca
2008-04-07
I wish I could A* this
kluny
2008-04-09
It's great. Would you mind breaking it up a little? the wall of text thing is my kryptonite.