Saline
Sat, 20 Dec 2008 at 03:18am
untitled
(because one must write a sappy sonnet every now and then...)
Sonnets attempt to redefine the term
but none can seem to find the meaning of
this necessary pain and how we learn
the many reasons people fall in Love.
William Shakespeare wrote of Romeo
and his love for Juliet. Love became
catastrophe for them although we know
with little doubt a rose would smell the same.
Oh! My dear, how cruel is humanity?
To this day they dictate our loves, command
we surrender our hearts to their society,
and fall in line with metered rhyme. We’ll stand!
My love, we’re sailing on a saline sea;
no one knows how Love is supposed to be.
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...Yes. Triumphantly true, and not sappy at all. The second verse is sheer brilliance - you should write a song with those lines. And "sailing on a saline sea" has a nice alliteratic (word!) ring to it. +1 well deserved.
(There's a 'd' missing at the end of "suppose", though...)
Excellent. I love sonnets, and this one is great, because it pays homage in a unique and original way to other sonnets.
I'd love to write a sonnet, but i get so bogged down in iambic pentameter.
+1
I'm studying sonnets in class, and I finally understand metre! I can 'get' sonnets now! XD
This one flows really well. I was stumbling (counting the beats on my hand, see, to get the hang of the metre) with Shakespeare's and a few others I found, but this one is effortless. I can't quite get 'we surrender our hearts to their society,' though, would you point to which are the stressed syllables?
Really likes :)