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Revolution

249
Wed, 10 Jan 2007 at 09:15am

Paradise

They called it paradise, an oasis in a desert of pollution and disease, a shineing white city, one of only a handfull of such places around the world, connected by vast underground tunnels that only the government and wealthy business men could use.

It was mid summer and the sun shone down, reflecting off the white bulidings and green bio-mech plants, delicate metal butterflies floated buy, bringing a flury of blurred oranges and blues with them.

They called it paradise, but the people who lived in the shadow of the great wall felt different, the sun's rays never got to them, and the hole area was damp, those who failed in life lived her, the workers and tradesmen, spat on by the government who turned a blind eye to them, the government who was there to protect, at night they could hear the grouns and bangs from the other side of the wall, they knew suffering, and kept quite, they needed someone, a hero

One other likes this.
2007-01-10
The commendations this piece recieved in IF1 were: 0 minus votes, 1 plus votes, and 0 astars.
golden_orchids
2007-01-11
The last line bespeaks an unpleasent Megadeth like song which should not be referenced here :P Otherwise this'l make a good start to a series possibley....
dan
2007-01-14

I agree. This could have been developed a lot more, at least into a short story, though there is something to be said of the relationship between the content and the manner in which it's displayed.

cammy
2007-05-30
it would make an interesting piece of art work :) well done.