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My public speaking teacher says that people will rarely reach out to you. You have to forcibly take their attention. If you have the need to say something, that is.
I had nothing to say. My life had no purpose. No one cared enough to reach out, what would they gain? After all social intercourse is just that, and everyone wants to gain.
My best experiences are group experiences. Despite my inability, or any amount of stupidity these people accept me, I call them my friends. They realize that I'm not perfect, even though I am secretly failing standards that I set myself up to.
I don't know, you can go on a chat room or a videogame and interact with people from around the world. If you're up to it, you can be part of this isolated world.
Isolated, because you cannot touch these people across the world. It is cold and inhuman. I take it like a social drug, in the place of reality.
But what makes or breaks my life is those around me. I've come to realise this only recently. I wonder if I was just ignoring it before, as a survival trait. I'm good at ignoring things.
Why do these people reach out to me? Did I become prettier? Did I become more intelligent? Did I actually reach out to them? That can't be. I try to understand it, but I can't.
And when you have to choose between groups, what then? Sacrificing friends? I guess I just matured, in the sense that I can interact with a variety of people. So I don't have to choose, I guess, between groups... But what about people? Over someone's shoulder, hugging me, another is looking at me with an expression of defeat concealed under layers of unemotion built up over the years, as a survival trait.
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