Disappointing
Mon, 20 Aug 2007 at 11:06am
untitled
To commit the soul to paper
Would be a fatal error
Mental essence on parchment
Will lead to further lament
Souls are not meant to be shared
With those who cannot care
And yet these humans will persist
They write with carelessness
They let the callous world peer in
At whatever leaks from ballpoint pens
Perhaps they seek companionship?
Who'd befriend these proletariats
Pitiful creatures writers are
Carrying on about their scars
With broken verses in the abstract
Baseless meter, rhyming slack.
A call to arms, revive your muse
Structured couplets; Nature haikus
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I liked the imagery in this piece, especially, "they let the callous world peer in/at whatever leaks from ballpoint pens". I'm not much of a poet, so it's quite likely I'm simply confused (and if so, I apologize), but I had trouble following your meter from line to line...it didn't seem to stay consistent. If I'm wrong, please feel free to message me and correct me on that. That said, I liked it, and it's a +1 for me. :)
As far as I can see, there are two approaches to art. Craft, and expression. I'd argue the former isn't even art, but I suppose that's a definition debate.
You are very strongly on the craft side, it appears.