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 ^{(it's beta!)}

I'm a bit neurotic. a lottabit. sometimes. this is personal i guess. i had to argue with myself over whether i should put it up but i can handle it.

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Don’t touch me, don’t thank me.

Don’t touch me, don’t thank me.

Don’t touch me, don’t thank me.

Don’t touch me, don’t thank me.

I whisper the words as some sort of deluded mantra, the skeleton key to inside my head.

Don’t touch me, don’t thank me.

There are some things in life I just can’t stand.

Don’t touch me.

Don’t thank me.

Don’t fucking touch me unless I want to be touched. How can you tell I want to be touched? I’ll touch you, even if I smack you, you can hit back. Because it’s how I tell you I’m ready for skin on skin contact. Don’t touch me when I’m in my bubble, don’t touch me when I’m being quiet. Don’t. Touch. Me. Wait for the skeleton key.

I’d never say it aloud, these things that drag me to the desperate verge of insanity. The things that make sounds become too much and the millipedes that live in my bathroom somehow find their measly way under my skin to twitch and skitter; I feel the need to move and scrub every hair off my arms and scratch my thighs until they bleed. Don’t fucking touch me.

It’s a weakness I will never tell you, I will merely plead with you inside my head. For the secret only you know is the most powerful secret there is.

Guess I fucked that up.

Don’t touch me, don’t thank me.

Don’t touch me, don’t thank me.

Don’t thank me unless I’m doing whatever you thanked me for of my own accord. You sound condescending if I’m not and I have to resist the urge to make you chew my knuckle bones bloody until your teeth shatter. I am more happy un-thanked than I am with exasperated gratitude.

Better yet, don’t thank me with words, no matter the situation. I am human, I can read eyes, a smile, a graceful wave of the hands and the way fingertips seem to ripple onwards. Speech is so overrated, says the queen of quick talking with lips that occasionally break the speed of sound. So shut up and mean the way you look.

And just don’t thank me.