Death in the Desert
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His eyes are a perfect combination of blue and red: the perfect contrast. Blue-grey eyes bloodshot until the whites seem yellow from a distance. They glance upwards with an unblinking stare, desperate and confused. Swirls of purple and navy are painted above his cheekbones by fatigue and ill health. His cheeks themselves are hollow, sunken as if food had not passed his lips in quite some time. His auburn hair lays lank and greasy on his forehead, unwashed and unkempt, matted with the dust of an arduous journey. His skin pales with every breath until a smattering of freckles appears as a light drusy across his nose, cheeks, forehead and lips.
Dry, and cracked, bleeding so that the blood stains his teeth, his tongue rolls across his lips in a desperate attempt to prevent hoarse cries of thirst from crossing.
He is lost, stranded in the desert by those who own this sand. A gaping wound his eyes ignore stings at his side but he can feel the sticky blood drip gently to the ground no matter how hard he tries to ignore it.
He is beginning to realize that no one will find him here...
His fingers scrabble over the ground, plucking at rocks. The sun is rising; its heat warms his body. His eyes close, his breathing quickens, hands scramble faster, legs start twitching, back arching and body trembling, his last few breaths pass as strained gasps.
His body shakes with the cold convulsions of death.
He dies alone with the birth of the day.
A hawk flying high above sees his body and glides down to rest on what was the young man.
There is no circle and it is complete.
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Great description of death. I can imagine that dying feels something like that. It's slightly enigmatic too, "stranded in the desert by those who own this sand", and the "gaping wound"... Was he fleeing from attackers? Had it not been for the last line, it might've been good material for a series. Now it's just good material :p
This piece is BRILLIANT!
I love it lots!
Reminds me of a piece I wrote when I was 16or so about summer vs winter- but yeh love this, I was actually about to write a piece concerning death to :-/
Mibbe I'll leave this a while
oh btw
A*
Seems like the rest of this piece is just a vehicle for the final line. Not that this is a bad thing, it sets it up very well, and the last line is very... important. It has a sense of gravity about it. I like it.
Only thing I could say is that the first paragraph is a bit dense, especially when compared to the rest, but that's probably just because I'm a lazy reader :P
Thammoc Chosen Comment
also because I wrote the first paragraph waaaaay before the rest of it. I added to the first paragraph when I added the rest but still, it was a good few months in between. It could use editing, not that I'll get round to it.