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 ^{(it's beta!)}

My questions and junk about the titleless piece.

So, the main idea doesn't give itself away until the end? That's my biggest worry. I feel like it's blatantly obvious. My boyfriend told me it has the perfect frame-crash effect at the end when you realize it.

Note, based on the feedback I've had so far: Where exactly does the fact that they're machines become evident? Mostly, I’ve heard it’s really at the closing sentence. I originally wanted it to become clear in this part:

Sarah wished the concert were over, or at the very least, that the stage lights would be dimmed. They were too bright for a stage full of metal, and it was nearly blinding after a while. She wished the Creators had made the Musicians look real, as well as act real.

That way, the audience is prepared for the aftershock of ...

"We should come back next week. I’ve heard that the Creators have coded genuine classical music from before the Reconfiguration, back when humans wrote it themselves. You might like it."

... so that it’s not just "OMG they’re machines?", but then also "and the music is computer-generated?!?".

As D (teh boyfriend) pointed out, the point to seeing a concert is to see the music performed live. In this case, it’s performed "dead", or by things that were never alive. I want that to come back to the "[art and music are] meant to reflect society ..." part, because the way their society works is gradually deadening the human souls. Does that make any sense at all in the story? I wonder if I can work in something with the word "performance" where there's a noticeable lack of the word "live" preceding it. Or would that be overkill?

Is it just the kind of story that has to be reread to catch all the subtleties? Is there something I can do to make the shocks fall where I want them, or is it better this way?

~~~

Also, does it even demand a reread, causing the reader to want to go back and try it again with an understanding of the end, or does it just leave you there? D said "if you wanted that, there should have been some subtle key elements implanted in the story that had broader interpretations, but that would have required someone to assume something one way, then suddenly be pushed into realizing they were something else". He cited the dinner date scene from Sixth Sense as a good example. Do I need to create more lateral room?

Last of all, this may be hardcore overkill, but I can’t decide if I want to work in some kind of Beethoven reference, because the audience applauded for him even though he was completely deaf. The first time he performed the An Die Freude (better known now as the Ode to Joy), his orchestra didn’t respond when he went to the next piece, and his concertmaster had to turn him around to realize that the audience were standing. Do enough people understand this to make that reference? Would it be way, way too much to work that in somehow? I envision something like, in the next-week’s-concert sentence, something about how the An Die Freude is in the program, and how he was deaf, and Sarah thinking (maybe?) about how a deaf composer wouldn’t need applause either? I don’t know.