« previous next »
Pages: [1]

Author Topic: Waves Large Sign  (Read 288 times)

Offline andrew-in-grace

  • Newbie
  • *
  • Posts: 31
  • Something Else Entirely
    • View Profile
Waves Large Sign
« on: August 17, 2008, 02:17:24 pm »
Right. I'm still new here, so I feel a little awkward, demanding to be read, but you know how stories are like crying babies who take over your life. Anyway. I've just posted the beginning of a rather long story I'm writing called Passing. I realize the first section, called Sunday, has only been up for a few days, but I've been dying for feedback, as I'm 15 pages into it, and if it sucks, then I should really either overhaul it, or attempt something else. So what I'm asking is not necessarily for you to read the whole damn thing. Just take a look. If you can't finish the first section then leave a comment that says, "I couldn't finish" or "I fell asleep" and it will be enough of a hint...
Logged
Everything that one thinks about a lot becomes problematic.
Friedrich Nietzsche

Offline andrew-in-grace

  • Newbie
  • *
  • Posts: 31
  • Something Else Entirely
    • View Profile
Re: Waves Large Sign
« Reply #1 on: August 18, 2008, 03:23:20 pm »
I've taken Bowers very wise advice and shortened the first bit. I shall endeavor to post in smaller bits.
Logged
Everything that one thinks about a lot becomes problematic.
Friedrich Nietzsche

Offline burning_sands

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 4683
  • she whispers of perspective
    • View Profile
Re: Waves Large Sign
« Reply #2 on: August 18, 2008, 08:59:11 pm »
that will increase the comments immensely, i promise. chunks is the way to go. we IF kids shy from longer pieces.
Logged
English doesn't borrow from other languages. It follows them down dark allies, knocks them over, and goes through their pockets for loose grammar.

Offline bobman12

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 1221
  • >3
    • View Profile
    • Thisismyspacebitches.
Re: Waves Large Sign
« Reply #3 on: August 18, 2008, 09:33:49 pm »
And anal orgies.
Logged
All human actions have one or more of these seven causes: chance, nature, compulsions, habit, reason, passion, or desire.-Aristotle

Radio___clash
."Motherfucker.  LEPRECHAUNS?  All I have are rednecks"

Offline Bowers

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 1461
  • breadsticks
    • View Profile
Re: Waves Large Sign
« Reply #4 on: August 19, 2008, 02:13:48 am »
don't lie bobman
Logged
O:

Vodka is the answer

Quote from: neoeno
We're writers, we don't kill ourselves, we WRITE about killing ourselves and then look wistfully into the distance...

www.myspace.com/Ninja_Bowers

Offline burning_sands

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 4683
  • she whispers of perspective
    • View Profile
Re: Waves Large Sign
« Reply #5 on: August 19, 2008, 05:42:04 am »
geeze bobman

talk about wrong impressions.
Logged
English doesn't borrow from other languages. It follows them down dark allies, knocks them over, and goes through their pockets for loose grammar.

Offline bobman12

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 1221
  • >3
    • View Profile
    • Thisismyspacebitches.
Re: Waves Large Sign
« Reply #6 on: August 19, 2008, 11:33:30 am »
We have to ween him off normal things some day. I'm just getting an early start in his education.
Logged
All human actions have one or more of these seven causes: chance, nature, compulsions, habit, reason, passion, or desire.-Aristotle

Radio___clash
."Motherfucker.  LEPRECHAUNS?  All I have are rednecks"

Offline andrew-in-grace

  • Newbie
  • *
  • Posts: 31
  • Something Else Entirely
    • View Profile
Re: Waves Large Sign
« Reply #7 on: August 19, 2008, 12:18:21 pm »
Anal orgies....pshhh... What do you guys think about goats?  :P
Logged
Everything that one thinks about a lot becomes problematic.
Friedrich Nietzsche

Offline bobman12

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 1221
  • >3
    • View Profile
    • Thisismyspacebitches.
Re: Waves Large Sign
« Reply #8 on: August 19, 2008, 03:08:21 pm »
I dig the horns.
Logged
All human actions have one or more of these seven causes: chance, nature, compulsions, habit, reason, passion, or desire.-Aristotle

Radio___clash
."Motherfucker.  LEPRECHAUNS?  All I have are rednecks"

Offline galantee

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 2141
  • Nederlandstalige Belg
    • View Profile
Re: Waves Large Sign
« Reply #9 on: August 20, 2008, 09:32:35 am »
Quote from: bobman12 on August 19, 2008, 03:08:21 pm
I dig the horns.
As in, the horns dig him.

That's right.
Logged
“That's it. I'm just following my nose and waiting to see what comes up.”
“Welcome to the club.”
“Club? What club is that?”
“The International Brotherhood of Lost Dogs. What else? We're letting you in as a certified, card-carrying member. Serial number zero zero zero zero.”
“I thought that was your number.”
“It is. But it's your number too. That's one of the beauties of the Brotherhood. Everyone who joins gets the same number.”

Offline burning_sands

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 4683
  • she whispers of perspective
    • View Profile
Re: Waves Large Sign
« Reply #10 on: August 20, 2008, 06:34:44 pm »
what kind of goats?
Logged
English doesn't borrow from other languages. It follows them down dark allies, knocks them over, and goes through their pockets for loose grammar.

Offline andrew-in-grace

  • Newbie
  • *
  • Posts: 31
  • Something Else Entirely
    • View Profile
Re: Waves Large Sign
« Reply #11 on: August 22, 2008, 03:14:56 pm »
Horny goats. Any other distinction is meaningless.
Logged
Everything that one thinks about a lot becomes problematic.
Friedrich Nietzsche
Pages: [1]
« previous next »