This conversation just happened:
Sam: Guys are so much easier to talk to when you first meet them because they're interested in what you're saying.
Sam: I bet the guy who gave me his number doesn't know I'm a lesbian.
Me: They're not interested in what you're saying. They're interested in what's in your pants.
Sam: Which makes it seem like they're interested in what you're saying which is nice!!
Me: I love you
Sam: XD I love you too!
Me: But seriously. First day back and you're already getting numbers? What the actual fuck! Wear a disclaimer sign.
Me: "Sorry boys, I'm more of a muffin girl. Eclairs aren't my thing"
Sam: OMG I love you so much xD I like meeting people though! I'm hopeful it can end in friendship!!
Me: You're a little delusional

But good luck. Also, find me a hot guy. Angie wants him to be blond.
Me: So I can have blond babies. Because she thinks they're cute.